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PholkTales: Run-Ins With the Law
I was recently at the Trey solo tour at Roseland. There are no water fountains at this place, only sinks to drink out of. At the bar they will give you free water, but it is like 8 oz. The bartender would only let me get one at a time... why, I don't know. 

So I was just going to buy a three-dollar bottle of water, drink it, and fill it back up. I found out that they pour the bottle into a larger 16 oz plastic cup. I asked why I couldn't have the bottle, and he said at other concerts people decided to throw the bottles at the band, so no more water bottles. 

I told the bartender this was a Phish concert, and that would never happen. He replies like that was the craziest thing he has ever heard, and how he has been a bartender for a long time and knows concert crowds. This place was packed and it felt like a hundred degrees. No lie... hottest indoor show I have ever been at. 

So now I just ask for a plastic 16oz cup. Again he gives me a cocky, "I am a bartender, no, fuck off" reply. So, by this point I am getting a little pissed off. All I wanted was to be able to leave the bar with more then 8oz of water for my friends and I. So I just say I am real hot and ask if I can just please have a 16 oz plastic cup. He tells me no way... get lost if.  You want a big cup, then buy a three-dollar water. 

I tell him I will if I can keep the bottle - all I had was 5 bucks left. He again says no and says that I can't even get an 8oz cup now. He is the bartender and he has control over drink flow. I tell him don't be an asshole, he flips out and yells to security to escort me out. I couldn't believe this.  I had never been kicked out before, and I have done a lot worse stuff then try to get water. 

I was being hauled off by this big black security guard half-hour into the show. It was a living nightmare: he is about to kick me out!  I am about 5 feet from the door when he lets go of me to talk to another security guard. I didn't run, just walked into the crowd and tried to disappear. 

I get about 4 feet away, look at the security guard, and he tells me to get back here. I shake my head no. I didn't want to run - it was too crowded.  He then looks at me one more time and waves me off.  Into the show I went. Talk about a close call for a stupid reason.

 - Jordan C.


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