I had just gotten over an illness that nearly removed me from this planet. It had lasted an entire month and sadly had drained ALL my Phish phunds. Also, this unkind sickness caused me to lose my gainful employment. So it looked like I wouldn't be attending the celebrations. A phriend of mine wasn't tryin' to hear all that. She said, "by hook or by crook you are going to that show," and I said "hello! no ticket, no money."  She still wasn't havin' any-a-that. "Oh you're goin'. Here's fifty bucks, pay me back later and come on!" So I did! 

But first, I loaded up on oranges, grapefruit and tangerines from our yard to be given away. An old phriend would give veg. burritos out for donations at dead shows, so I did the same thing with citrus. My sign read "Karmic donations accepted but not necessarily necessary."  We made our way to the unbelievably long line we all had to endure. It was nice though, a million of your closest phriends all in one place! My cohorts and I handed out many, many friuts to anyone walking and eventually walked down the line giving fruit to pholks in cars. We ended up receiving $120 in donations, a substantial pile of herb and some fungus. THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR THE KINDNESS!!!!! 

We still had butt-loads of citrus, which we gave out on clean-up missions and to those who were stuck in the "get-back-out" line of cars. The real cool part was, post show, one of our caravan members lost some cash along the way, so we kicked down enough cash for them to grub-up and get home. THANKS AGAIN FOR THE DONATIONS KIDS!!! So getting back. We were getting nearer and nearer to the checkpoint where everyone was getting searched for N2O, alcohol and people. Well my friend... I was one of those people. 

Like I said, we were loaded with citrus, tents, coolers and lots of other stuff. So as we drew nearer to "Wilson's check-point," I got under all kinds of shit in the back of the Bronco, while a friend took my seat in front so as not to arouse suspicion from "the searchers." We pulled up to the booth and I could hear the lady making small talk with my friends, "got your tickets ladies?" "right here" they said. "And here are your armbands... one more thing, may I check the back of your vehicle?"  My friend driving was cool as a cucumber and the other one... well she was obviously nervous. 

So the woman opens the back door and begins to paw around the immense pile of stuff we had. It was going real smooth until she just brushed my knee with her fingertips. Our friends who were right behind us later said that after she was done searching she walked over to her other yellow shirted friend and mumbled something to her. Luckily enough (Thank you Jah!) she just made a waving through motion and we were on our way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Emerging from my cocoon, very happy and a little sweaty, we made our way to camp. 

The next day was the first set and my duty was to get inside. I figured as I walked toward the stage that one of these here "cypress islands" would meet right up with the fence so as to conceal my entrance. So, with a sixer of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale in my Jansport and dressed in full camo, I made my way towards the fence. For all my trying I couldn't figure out why there were people with armbands not going in to enjoy the show. 

Anyway, the first "cypress island" didn't meet up with the fence, it just came out to more parking. SHIIIIIIIT!!!!! They are starting! "Filter out the everglades," then Chief Billy. The next few bunches of cypress just came out to more parking. Next I hear the unmistakable repeating monotone that is the beginning of PHUCKING POSSUM!!!!!!! Shit! Must get in, must get in. Pressing on through spider webs and muck, whilst looking out for water moccasins, I suddenly pop out to an area where everyone was wearing badges. Thankfully not the little star badges, but the kind you get for backstage. Still no entrance could I find. 

Over to my left I noticed a small access road which was blocked on one end to prevent people from coming in. Covertly I crossed this road. Cover was provided by the ever present fall of darkness. Into some ditch I jumped, walking along it's steep bank . Being a native to Phlorida, I learned not to fear what may lay in this ditch. Unless it be the dreaded fire ant, of which there were none. Stealthily making my way down the ditch, I emerged to another enclosed area where I rolled under an orange fence, then another. Suddenly I was RIGHT BEHIND THE STAGE!!! To my right: Phish's RV's ,to my left: a big fuck-off wall of big yellow shirted dudes. 

Now to decide, do I wait out the first set and try to meet Phish? Or do I get my ass in there and party like it's 1999! You guessed it, it was 1999 and I'll meet Phish when God brings me to them. So I gulped, looked down and walked very fast past the yellow shirt dudes who were thankfully looking in the opposite direction so as to keep people out. Heaven Yes!!!! I had made it inside! For the next sets I taped the little bits from my friends' wristbands together. 

After noticing that the checkers weren't checking for wristbands, I decided to go to the new year set without a wristband. As I walked toward the gates a man came up to me noticing I was hiding my wrist with my shirt. "You don't have a wristband huh?" He said. Instantly my heart sunk... I thought I was so busted. "No," I said. "What of it?" I asked. "You do now," and he handed me a SHINY NEW WRISTBAND!!! I jumped up and down, thanking and hugging him at once. 

I turned around and told my friends who were with me what this brother had done. "Who was it?" they said. Now we were on the bend coming from Murat. This particular spot was an open area. When I turned around to say, "this Rain-bro right here gave it to me," he was nowhere in sight. I don't know if you were human or not, but thank you my friend. That was truly a grateful experience, and to repay all that kindness I made sure to pick up many bags of trash, one being 1/4 small stuff like butts and bottle caps. 

Also my phriend suggested I run about the lot naked. You may remember me... I was the skinny little dude in the bright red sherpa hat with nothing on :) For all the remainder of my days, I shall never forget the wonderful times I have had at any Phish show I've attended. THANK YOU PAGE, THANK YOU FISH ,THANK YOU MIKE ,THANK YOU TREY AND THANK YOU ALL YOU PHANS!!!

p.s. I found a disposable camera @ Big Cypress if you lost one there please e-mail me with a description of a few of the pics. bye.

- Kirklander of the Sweet Pickles Gang

Editor's Note: Whoa... Several people were sneakin' into Big Cypress like it ain't no thang.