So we were walking to the bathrooms and their was this guy in the lot next to us. He was walking towards the wood bar that raises and lowers to let the cars in and out. All of a sudden he starts running and breaks through this bar. And then he just starts walking like nothing had happened.

Then the fat security guard yells, YOU BETTER RUN FUCKHEAD!! and chases him down the street into the big lot (lol). Good luck finding a hippy guy with a beard and dreds. So the security guard just stopped chasing him, caught his breath and went back. That was the best thing ever. 

Everyone around and across the street started cheering and clapping when the guard stopped. He was pretty dumb telling him to run, considering he would have caught him because the guy was just walking at first. If you are reading this and you are that guy congratulations on not getting caught.

 - Emily Peterson

Editor's Note: Oh yeah... I love the "stupid cop didn't catch that dude" stories about as much as I hate cops on bikes, and this similar pholktale is truly hilarious.