So, I managed to get into the Vida Blue show last Wednesday here in Portland, OR. It took lots of BS and a little help from a stranger, but we managed to talk the guy working the door into letting us walk right in, thus forgoing a $25 ticket price (when did concerts get so expensive, and why? This is a topic for later discussion). The show itself is not the important part of this story, so I will spare you my review. The only thing that is worth mentioning is the encore of the Gary Neuman 80's tune, "In Cars."  That was pretty funny.

Upon exiting the Crystal Ballroom, I hear some yelling and more yelling, and of course I head toward the yelling. Standing right in front of the Crystal is a guy selling these 50 page booklets that he had put together himself. Here he finally puts together the connection that we have all been waiting for:

PHISH = JESUS

It's all there. The correlation between lyrics and bible verses, specific shows, and specific moments from those shows. Finally after all these years, the mystery has been unraveled. Oh, and you know why they are on Hiatus? Because Phish predicted the end of the world (which is coming soon), and they want to spend more time with their families. I mean this kid has gone to all lengths and put some serious effort into getting his point across. 

I could go on further, but I implore you to look out for this kid at Vida Blue shows or any other shows for that matter. I believe that he is from Denver. You have to pick one of these things up, go home, smoke a fatty, sit on the deck and just giggle yourself all the way to Heaven. In closing, if you do happen to run into this modern day prophet, do yourself a favor....

Read the book! Save your life! Save it!

- Spauldazzio