But I'm feelin good, and my phriends and I noodle on into the show.  We missed half the movie, and the guy in front of me, pretty smuggy, snobby dude (not condemning, or judging, or denying, just simply saying) was getting all upset on account of my drunken revelry. No problem... I TRIED to be good. But I have this habbit of pissing at least one person off when I'm drinking.  

So i sat there quietly, drinkin my drink, and making meaning out of things that probably have no meaning at all, but hey that's what I do. Well the movie is done. Read the credits. Take a shot, and head on outside where my Buddy hands me a kazoo.  "YYEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAAWWWW" I yelled.  I was excited; I like kazoos. Any way, I met some other dude with a kazoo, and boy did we jam. I kept trying to convince him that we could go on tour as The Kooky Kazzooers, but he just smiled and laughed.  

We actually got in trouble for playing, and i told the guy to fuck off cause we were just celebrating the spirit... lol, I was pretty drunk. Well, now came the part of the show when Mike comes out and answers our boring questions that we already know the answers to, but we all had fun asking and listening. I asked a question, though he didn't dignify it with an answer because it wasn't all that dignified in the first place. "What's your favorite melon?" I asked. HA HA! 

Hey, I didn't mind all that much... there wasn't that much left in the bottle. Laughed a little with some funny dude on the balcony there, and I headed out for another cigarette. It must of been a long cigarette break, cause when I got back in, the band was phukin hootin and hollerin with all sorts of krazy energy flying around. "Damn" I said, "I hear a banjer." 

I look up, and through the smoke and the alcoholic haze, sure enough, there it was, as plain as my finger nail, lookin right at me, singin with a twang, was a banjo, "YEEEEEEE HHHHAAAWWWWW" again! I play a little myself...  Banjo that is. So I sit, catch the groove, and next thing i know I'm noodlin like krazy, shakin my bones, crying out in joy. Took a hit of my bottle...  Empty, damn bastards.  Phuk it, I'm reaching orgasm here. 

Put my hand in my pocket and what do I feel, nope, yup, you guessed it, my kazoo."You know what they need," I say to a guy that doesn't understand what I'm saying, "TOOT" (a blow aon the kazzoo).  Put my empty bottle in my pocket and mosy on up to the stage, get on the stage, stumble towards a microphone, and you know what i did. Hell yeah, you're pretty good at this... I tooted that kazoo like there was no tomorrow, HA! 

It was great, I didn't think the col. was all that upset cause every time i looked at him, he was smilin, probably saying, "PHUKIN STONED IDIOT"  Hey, I play the fool much.  Well, i was up there for a good three minutes (i think) till some boney fukkin security guard pulled me off and threw me out. Needless to say, i got back stage after a futile attempt earlier in the evening, which i forgot to mention.  HEHE. It was short, but a tour none the less.  

Tell you the truth, i didn't even know it happened till i got back inside, and all these people were coming up to me with smiling faces, thinkin it was part of the show, and i couldn't lie.  I told em I just felt like doin it... I felt like they needed some kazoo in their jam, which made them smile more. I think more people SHOULD take up the art of the kazoo.  REALLY. 

Well anyway, that's basically it, except for getting thrown out of bikfords, (another story). I had my phunn there, and people seemed to enjoy it, which made it better, and that's about it for that. I played my kazoo with Col. Bruce Fuking Hampton. A night i won't soon forget. ha

 - Rusty