When drinking heavily one always has to piss real bad, so Cuban B decided to avoid having his manjunk spotted... he would go piss in the woods behind the fence that barricaded the street from the woods. Little did he know that the area where he began to piss was QUICKSAND! While Cuban B was in mid-piss he began to sink like a stone in this thick muddy quicksand. The look on his face was absolutely priceless. 

Luckily, Cuban B was able to quickly grasp the nearest tree and save himself from complete coverage. He was literally thigh deep in thick grey mud when he finally popped out of his dilemma. Unfortunately for Cuban B he had lost his Birkenstocks in the deep mud, and he knew if he didn't search for them immediately his favorite sandals would sink even deeper and become a victim of the Tennessee quicksand. 

So Cuban B wrapped his legs tightly around the same tree that saved him in the first place and began digging in the mud like an animal. At this point there is a solid crowd cheering him on. When he pulled his muddy arms out of the muck with the slop which vaguely resembled his sandals, the crowd exploded in a jubilant celebration for our Cuban friend. All I can say is that Cuban B is a true Bonnaroo trooper, and having to deal with several strange looks while walking around in 90 degree heat covered from shoulder to toe in mud is a small price to pay for the amazing trip we all called Roo!

- Timmy O

Editor's Note: Alright kids, let's just say that all Bonnaroo stories can qualify as pholktales (I know phish wasn't there, but I sure as hell want to hear your Tennessee stories, and I don't think I'm the only one, so fuck it)... SEND 'EM IN IF YOU GOT 'EM!!