So here's how it begins: we're waiting in the 50,000 mile-long traffic jam just like everyone else. We park every five feet (when traffic stops AGAIN!!) and get out of the car, blasting some great ol' tunes, drinking our beer, smoking our kind, you know the story. Well, after two of my friends ate a couple rolls and passed out in the back seat in a coma, me and another friend decided we wanted some acid to make the wait a little more interesting.

This phan walks by on the interstate and offers us each a free hit of this paper with some crazy ass painting on it. He claims, "I just want to get rid of this stuff." That should of been a red-light for us, but it didn't register. So of course we take it. After all, we're not stupid. Time passes by and it starts to hit us. We're still in the frickin line, the sun's setting, and we're loving the hell out of it. We get to the show, park the car, and the five of us walk towards the music. It was the drum circle in the enchanted forest.

At this point we're following the crowd of people, like zombies, across the bridge and into the forest. Everyone is dancing in a spiral, closing in towards the drum circle. I can't see the drummers, but I assume they're there. I see some guy with a professional grade video camera (possibly documenting the freak show for Phish), and I see about 4 groups of 2 people each, in full-body, black, skin tight, spandex costumes holding on to a tree and dancing. They're waving their bodies towards the tree. Each group of 2 is on a separate tree around the drum circle. I'm pretty sure that was all real. Don't really know for sure though.

Anyway, here's where my mind goes NUTS! I believe, whole-heartedly, at this point in the whole trip, that all that I'm about to describe to you is really, really happening. So, in the drum circle, I start to think that we're supposed to be following each other in line and it's the biggest interactive game ever to be held. (Recall other attempts by Phish to break the Guinness record). So, I follow the person in front of me as we dance in circles around and around, and then I follow the line in front of me over to the tent where you sign up for the Phellowship, and all those other activist groups. 

My friends were around, somewhere I guess. I stand at the Wetland Relief table staring at the documents laid out before me. I guess I'm supposed to sign up. (You see, the way this game is played, is everyone has to respond to subtle clues they see, and react accordingly. If you do that, your next clue will be revealed to you. There are hired actors all over the place to participate in this.) 

Now I begin to believe that I'm the main character in this game, and everyone is supposed to try and help me, without actually telling me that the game is going on. Also, I'm being filmed by the camera crew, and it's going to be made into a movie, where people will laugh at how Phish fucked with my head. Weird? No, not yet.

So I lose track of my friends, and then I realize. Oops! I forgot where we parked. That's okay. There's only 10's of thousands of cars around. SHIT! I figure it's all just part of the game. If I follow all the clues, I'll eventually end up at the car. That's my prize. So I walk around looking at the chaos, waiting for my next clue. 

I see people all over with those hand-held walkie-talkies (you know, talking to their friends and trying to find them). I figure they're talking about me, as a group, being told by some local headquarters what to do next. That's all the other phans' role in this game. If they do it right, then Phish will perform. If not, Phish is a no go. 

So I figure I better pay attention or nobody gets to see Phish for NYE. I would be banned from every Phish show ever, which some of you know, is a fate worse than death. So I play along. I'm walking around and I see some guy staring right at me. (Of course everyone has been staring at me, turning when I glance their way - they don't want to tip me off that everyone is in on it, after all). 

The guy who is staring at me drops something into a trash can, still staring right at me. So I walk to the trash can and what do I do? I throw away my flash light. Why? That's what I'm supposed to do to get my next clue, of course.

Now I'm lost. What next? Where's my next clue. There's a few groups of people standing around looking at the maps that were handed out when we came in. Where was mine? Oh yeah, I threw it away too, because I didn't think the flash light being thrown away was correct. 

Well, I guess I'll approach this guy. "Hey, where am I supposed to be?" I say to this guy. --Blank stare-- "Where do I go?"... "What?!" he chuckles. "What do I do next?" So he points to the map and asks me, "where do you wanna go?" And I said, "back to my car." "Where is it?" he says. "I don't know, that's what I'm asking you." He looks lost. This guy with the map is playing games with me. So I walk off.

I walk to the food court and who's that looking over at me. Oh shit! It's Fish! Or is it? So I walk up to him, casual-like. "Hey Fish, what do I do?" Oops, this guy isn't Fishman. And he doesn't know what I'm supposed to do either. So I keep walking. At this point I'm freaking out. (No, not before, NOW!) What do I do?! Some pusherman walks up to me and whispers "let's party." Let's party? Of course he was probably wanting to get in on what ever I was on. 

I thought he was inferring that I needed to say, "let's party." THAT'S MY NEXT CLUE! ALRIGHT! So I say, "let's party." He nods and says, "yeah, let's party!" So I say it louder. Then I look around. I look back, he's walked off. (Boy, he must be fucked up.) Then I spot the camera crew again. I walk up and ask them if they know what I'm supposed to do. They don't know either. They're too busy filming me. 

The guy asks me if I know that I'm being filmed (REALLY), and I say, yeah. Then I hear helicopters and look up in the sky and see the helicopter up above with a spotlight shining down on me, filming me. (I hear the camera crew say under their breath - he must be tripping balls.)  I then realize that the helicopter is really the sound of a generator which is powering the light that's above me. Or is it? I figure I need to walk around more.

I find the bulletin board with all the memos people leave to their friends so they can find them. Next to it is a huge RV with a DJ spinning tunes, and everyone is dancing to the Meatstick. Some guy has actually got a rainstick (a percussion instrument). Oh... I'm supposed to hold the rainstick, and do the Meatstick with everyone. So that's exactly what I do. I get some funny looks. It's not even the Meatstick they're playing. What am I doing? Okay so I walk off, again, and look around some more.

There's probably about a dozen or so events that occur after this, but this post is getting winded.  So, to end it all, I ended up finding one of my friends and going back to the tent and passing out, just as the sun came up. The rest of the weekend I thought the game was still going on, and to this day I still get the occasional flash back from it, and think I've found a clue.

- F'd

Editor's Note: I must say, this story has been a solid piece of entertainment... do yourself a favor and take it for what it's worth, and please be careful what you ingest... Remember that this fan said he almost never made it out of his trip, so watch yo step.