I've been pouring over Phish stories after Phish stories, and I've come across one major contrast in mine. Other stories complain of a limit of phish friends... or at least ones in the same neighborhood. Well, in my high school, it's the exact opposite. Liking Phish assumes you smoke some greenage, and smoking the green makes you cool. Or to some.

So basically, there are these whiny, annoying popular types prancing around in Phish shirts, proclaiming themselves pHiSh queens when really the true meaning of Phish is as foreign to them as a high IQ is. Now, if said popular types actually loved Phish and valued the music, I would have absolutely no problem with said popular types. But here's the real problem: although they claim 2 be true Phish Phans, they continuously talk negatively about those who are.

Phish isn't merely a persona, it's a way of life. Posers suck.

TRUE PHISH PHANS

True Phish Phans, I love you guys. There are some in just about every one of my mundane classes, and with you sitting there, I feel comfortable and at ease. I have someone to share my music with. Even if we do smoke a little now and then, we're just celebrating the music and this great band that I couldn't imagine how I managed without.

But straight-edge phans don't worry, we love you too. It's about the music, not the drugs for real phish phans. We all know Phish is paradise, and if we can catch at least one true Phish Phan strolling down the hall amidst all the updated models of copy machines, then we can count ourselves lucky.

~tRuE pHiSh PhAn from Coughlin High School in that exciting little city of Wilkes-Barre (j/k) Email me!