the friends are literally straining to hold him back. the couple that is his intended target are looking back at him; there are maybe five people between him and them. they are scared, but they're also packed like sardines in this mass of severely fucked up people, looking to get their groove on like they've literally never done before, so leaving is gonna be rough for them. me and my two friends are trying to ignore this ugly little scene, it's the 2000 nye show for fuck's sake. 

this is it, probably the biggest moment in phish history, and therefore one of the absolute defining moments in my life, and the guy who is not more than ten feet away from me is trying to attack someone. i'm tripping so, of course, this is wigging me out more and more the longer it takes place. i look over to d (coconspirator in so many of my tour stories), and he shrugs toward the guy and says, "take care of it." 

Even though i'd been noiding out up until this point, i'm also highly susceptible to suggestion at this point. i think to myself "yeah, i'll just take care of this guy, then all 50 or so people around dick-ass here can enjoy the show of shows, i'll be a frickin' hero."

i'm 5'10" and weigh abut 200 pounds. i'm pretty solidly built, not flabby. i have a low center of gravity, and i'm a brown belt in judo. i'm telling myself these things over and over, and like the Flash himself, i whip around to one of the friends holding this guy back and say, "you guys HAVE to get him out of here." as i hear myself say this i realize i sound like someone ON DRUGS. yup, there's no turning back now, i'm fucked up. this guy is not gonna ruin my nye 2000 trip. 

one of the restrainees turns to me, and as he's straining against this guy he says, "we're trying." everyone around this guy is now staring at me with pleading eyes. even the people in front of this scene are not looking at the stage, they're looking at me, as my request to take the guy out of the show was shouted for two reasons: 1) the music and band is quite loud and i have to shout to be heard, and 2) i'm so fucked up i can't properly modulate the volume of my voice. seeing that my request to the restrainer of the madman didn't work, i take a more drastic measure.

the madman is being held around the chest by the arms of three friends. i lean into one of those arms so that i am face to face with someone who is clearly, and i mean this, out of his mind. our noses are no more than two inches apart. i feel, literally, hundreds of eyes on me. he's looking right at me, but through me, as i am now blocking his sightline towards the couple he is wanting to attack. i'm hoping it's just the drugs, and i have actually heard one of his friends say this to him along with all the "cool it"s and "chill out"s. "HEY!!! HEY!!! HEEEEEEEEYYYYYY!!!!!!!!" 

i yell at the guy just to get him to at least recognize that i'm in front of him. some small spark of awareness hits him. i almost see it go through his mind, "someone i don't know is nose to nose with me, shouting to get my attention." as i see this wash over him, i grab the neck of his shirt and say loudly, but calmly and steadily, "if you don't leave or let these guys take you out of here, i'm gonna take you out of here, and you don't want that. if i can't take you out of here then you're surrounded by about 5000 other people who are gonna help me drag your ass out of here". the few faces i can see behind him are slack with shock, surprise, and i'd like to think a little bit of awe. after i finish my tirade his posture slackens... it's just enough for the friends who have been restraining him to get the upper hand.

i truly feel sorry for those guys. they miss the show of all time because their friend couldn't handle his drugs and wigged out. as they escort him from the concert area, i get quite a few pats on the back and complimentary bowl hits. d, who suggested that i handle the guy in the first place, is smiling the biggest smile i think i've ever seen and hugs me. the couple who was the guy's target sees me, and the male member of the couple gives me a little head nod and wave.

d's theory was that the girl in the couple was the madman's ex and it was his plan all along to go to big cypress, where he knew they'd be, and ambush them at midnight. sort of a "since you've ruined me, i'm gonna ruin this special time for you," sort of mentality. that's better than any theory i've been able to come up with. the important thing to me is that for the first time at a show, i feel like something of hero.

peace,

- kris