One of my favorites being the Gorge show in '97. That was when the funk (Cities, Wolfman’s….and others) Phish was playing really hit me and I decided I what Mike was doing was magic and that my life goal is to play like him, expressing my own inner funk-ness. This story is not about that, sorry.

Ok, to get to the story. Like I said above I have had many great experiences, this being an insightful one with no greatness even remotely present. The details are foggy as to what they played, what night it was, where it was and so on….so I will do my best. 

The group of people I was with, including myself, all took some very good MDMA. It was custom for them to get the good stuff. I think we took it during intermission, or before the 3rd set of the night. It was dark out. I brought my camera to this show, in hopes of getting some good pictures of Mike funking away. Mike being my main inspiration in a way I still cannot quite describe.

So before the music starts, I decide to move to the front to get some good pictures. I am a big guy and moving in a crowd while I am starting to get silly, without pissing people of by stepping on them or loosing my balance, is a challenge. I get up there, one person back from the stage wall/security pit. The show starts and I am feeling really good. Everyone around me also seems to be enjoying themselves even though we are all packed together tightly. 

Time passes and I take about ten shots of Mike and a few of Trey, Paige, and Fishman. More time passes. I start to think of my friends I left, back about a few hundred feet. I also start to think about the water they have and the space to move around, or even lie down if they choose. 

My mouth starts to get dry. I am still dancing and enjoying the show, but things are missing that could really increase my enjoyment and overall comfort. After a little more time, I am not having such a good time, but the thought of having to walk through everybody is daunting. I just knew I was going to trip, fall, and in general look like a clumsy messed-up ass.

After some more time passes (probably not nearly as much as I thought) I decide to go for it. I ground myself as much as possible and breath, as I try to relax for this journey out of the crowd. I start off ok, although everyone I make eye contact with are looking at me like I am totally whacked out of my head, which starts to make me feel more messed up. 

I feel like one of those people I see at a show that are trying to get out because they are bugging out bad, and I usually get out of their way to help them out.. Then I really fuck up. As I walk I am kind of using people to brace myself as I balance on one foot then the next. The stage lights are at my back, and since everyone is standing I can’t really see the ground, plus my eyes are like jelly and its hard to focus anyway. The next thing I know, this girl yells at me and pushes me back.

Her little child was on the ground and I was about to stomp on him/her. I apologize and move on, feeling like a murderer. Disgusted at myself for getting so fucked up that I almost hurt a little kid. I decide to walk towards the side wall (Paige’s side)….the man made barrier the Phish crew put up to enclose the huge crowd. I make it over and there are less people. Ahhh I can walk freely and not worry about crushing little kids.

As I continue to walk towards my friends, I look down and see that I am walking through mud. I find this weird since it wasn’t muddy where the crowd was. As I walk a little further, I see that some guys are walking to this wall, and instead of waiting on lie at the Porto-Potties, they are draining themselves here. Then it all clicked for me. I am walking in mud and it is not from the rain. 

I get more disgusted with myself, but I laugh a bit, thinking how disgusting this is and what a fool I am. This does bother me but I decide I have made it this far in the urine/mud and it was better than having to walk through people. Once I get out of that and into dry ground, there is plenty of room and people are scattered around, stretching out or dancing in circles.

I decide that I am very messed up and all I want is a drink and to sit down by myself to process what just happened and to regain my composure. I go up to this frozen drink cart, buy a drink, decide it is too cold, throw it out and continue to walk. 

To make my search for a temporary sane and rejuvenating spot harder, as I walk I see a huge hot air balloon. This I thought was really crazy and I just stare at the balloon go up and down and watch the people online wait…thinking the whole time that this was really really bizarre. I finally by a bottle of water and sit down. Later I re-group with my friends and try to explain what I just went through. The End

 - Tree Stands